School is (almost) out II: worst fictional schools

As I mentioned in my last post, most schools depicted in films and books range from unwelcoming to downright dreary. I think this is partly because many (most?) people have experienced feeling socially awkward, inadequate or excluded at school at some point, and it can be therapeutic / fun-in-a-mean-way to see characters enduring unpleasant situations which remind you of real-life ones; and also because, historically, students were deprived of freedom, care and companionship at school in favour of ideas of "discipline" and "respect" which were imposed through physical violence and rigid hierarchies. The first type of schools is the one you see in teenage comedies, and it is broadly similar to any high school; the second one is far darker, and luckily unlike my own school experience.

Honourable mention: Hailsham, Never Let Me Go

Looks lovely, doesn't it? Well, and it is, but there is a dark secret at its core. Read the book to find out - it is a masterpiece.

3. Westerburg High School, Heathers

Heathers is a brilliant teen comedy - in its very twisted and dark way. The high school where it is set is the stereotype American suburban one, with the stupid jocks, nerds wearing glasses, fat kids sitting alone, and a venomous clique of icy blond girls with extremely sharp tongues. The atmosphere is stifling, with rigid social separation, everyone behaving in a very artificial way to try to fit into a specific group and the constant threat of abuse at the hands of the ones who are at the top of the social ladder. It is an extremely lonely place, where everyone is unhappy. Oh, and then people start dying at the hands of a very charming psycho. 

2. St Peter's School, Boy

I have always found Roald Dahl's books delightful, and part of their charm is undoubtedly the dark,  even violent undertone of the situations that the characters go through. This book of childhood memories sets a light on the origin of his unique literary world: though it includes many moments of joy, he also gives details on his rather miserable years at boarding school, including frequent beatings and acting as a servant for whatever older pupils wanted (apparently, this used to be the norm at boarding schools, which weren't quite as charming as in Enid Blyton books). Though he writes, as usual, in an upbeat tone, exploring situations for humour, it is clear that it is not a school experience he would recommend.


1. Prufrock Prep, The Austere Academy

As one would expect from a Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events book, the school depicted here is a surreal nightmare (and makes for an extremely entertaining read - this is marketed as a children's series, but I think the dark humour, sense of absurd, intricate plot, original narrative voice and cultural references make it a joy to read for anyone who is into funny dreariness). This is a school which has a its cheerful motto Memento Mori (remember you will die), and where classes are held in buildings shaped like giant tombstones. The three heroes are made to live at the Orphan Shack, which is filled with crabs and dripping fungus; during the day, the baby Sunny is put to work as a secretary for the tyrannical principal Nero, while her older siblings attend very dull classes where they listen and copy short stories about a man eating bananas and measure countless objects. Then, every evening, they are forced to spend six hours listening to Nero playing the violin. Finally, every night, the villain Count Olaf, disguised as a PE teacher, forces them to run until dawn.

This is definitely the most absurd, unpleasant school I have ever had the joy to read about and to not attend.