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As I get closer and closer to leaving home, I find myself going more and more inside myself. I had not expected these last weeks at home to be spent in such a quiet way, immersed in hazy daydreams about the next three or four years (that, for now, is the duration of my life: further down the road I will be another, a stranger in a strange land), and in the abstract overlapping worlds if mathematics and philosophy. The past seems to be dissolving, leaving just a thin layer of dust and salt on my skin. I have not built any self-narrative - the story we form by stringing select memories into a coherent whole, thereby picturing our life as a story with the self as the protagonist, whose features are defined precisely by those of the selected memories - of the past three years. It somehow seems unimportant: they flew by in disconnected strands and alternating periods of throwing myself into the world and receding into my own head. The only visible result of high school is precisely launching me into the future via getting into Oxford, which is perhaps the reason why that is all I am now able to focus on. I marvel at how perfect the surgery separating me from my recent past has been: I feel white and scrubbed and fresh and clean, all ready to start anew.

In my mind, I'm inside a plane, looking out the window as it goes higher and higher, with all the figures becoming smaller and smaller, becoming mere dots, and then nothing. 

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